Heres the start to my new life

Ok so Im not really starting a new life, well I am, but not in the way that it sounds.  I am still happily married with two wonderful children, but what I am not happy with is myself.  I have always been on the heavier side most all my life and battled to keep the weight off.  Im one of those people who looks at food and gains 5lbs.  Ive tried so many diets, exercises, only to fall off the band wagon and slip right back into my bad habits.  Ive never felt like I could let go and just be myself  because of my weight.  I am so self conscious and dont like people looking at me because I feel like they are just looking at my size and not me.  I am a proud parent of two beautiful little girls but I must say the 2 them sure did some damage to my body.  Plus Im pretty sure my mind still thinks Im pregnant because I eat like I did when I was.  I also suffer from anxiety and depression so when you combine that with my habit of "eating my feelings" its a recipe for disaster.  I am now 6 months post baby and at my heaviest weight, besides what I was at the end stage of both my pregnancy's.  It makes me sick.  I cant even stand to look in a mirror.  Im wearing sizes I swore I never would.  I feel lethargic. I dont like my husband looking at me or touching me.  Im just flat out miserable and so dissapointed in myself.  So 4 days from Christmas and I am deciding its time to make a change.  To hell with waiting for the new year, Im starting NOW!  This time its not a diet, its not just exercising, or eating better, its a full out life style change.  Its the exercising religiously, completely changing my(and my families) eating habbits, being more positive, pushing myself, ect.  Im going all out this time and Im not stopping until Im happy!!  Dont waste your time wishing me luck or anything of the sort, because luck or not this momma is changing for the better!!!